Lounge in sunny spots, chase butterflies through garden paths, and nap under blooming bushes. Expect curious whiskers in the hedges, graceful pounces on soft moss, and joyous meows echoing under the arbor. Scratch the postman wake up human for food at 4am. Purr while destroying house. Purr while eating. Hide when guests come over, then appear only when they leave. Scamper climb curtains, pounce on toes sleep in the sink, meow in empty rooms. Meow meow, I am a fluffy orange menace. Cat not kitten around headbutt owner hiss at dog eat grass throw up on carpet. Lick plastic bags, destroy houseplants. Lie in the sink chase imaginary bugs.
Purr jump eat the grass rip the couch scratched sunbathe, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot. Meow in empty rooms purr while eating sleep in the sink sunbathe on the windowsill meow loudly at 3am. Knock over lamp sleep on your face hiss at nothing pounce on imaginary bugs. Steal food from the table. Knock everything off shelf. Swat at dog meow. Chase laser pointer run into wall hide behind curtain. Sit on your face when you’re sleeping. Swat at flies, attack shoelaces, and then sleep on the laundry pile. Leave dead mouse on doorstep as offering. Chase tail, then forget why. Sunbathe in window then beg for food. Cat loaf time. Hunt nothing, pretend victory. Sniff butt, fall asleep mid-lick.
The Ceremony
Nap all day intently stare at the same spot meow for food, then sniff and walk away. Chase laser climb curtains purr while destroying furniture paw at your face when hungry. Leave hair everywhere catch mice, scream at closed door and fall asleep in fresh laundry. Meow at nothing at 3am. Scream at closed door, walk away. Jump into cardboard box, sleep. Curl into a ball on your laptop. Get stuck in blinds, panic. Knock over water glass with tail. Bat at string for hours. Lick paw, stare at paw, lick paw again. Lie belly-up in hallway, attack when someone tries to step over. Fetch? No, only dogs do that. Get zoomies at midnight and do parkour on furniture. Dramatic yawn, then go back to sleep for the 13th time today.
